Norfolkcestertshire Police today took their usual hamfisted approach in lukewarmly releasing this photophat image of a local pike botherer who they wish to interview regarding a recent rash of large headed gentlemen appearing on MOTD. They warned dog walkers, geo-cachers and Hoorrays back down from Oxbridge for vacs only to approach him with large quantiities of salt in case he regale them with sightngs of red kites at Oxnead and daffodils flowering in December in Sheringham (everyone knows they are at Beeston Regis).
Bureboy, 79 and father of 27 retorted "I have not got a large forehead and busted nose like that dyke jumper Van de Gaal, or two huge wasp chewing bulldog jowls like Big Sam Liqorice Allsorts..." He denied owning every known release of The Man Whose Head Expanded by those Mancunian tosspots The Fall. . And that he ever wore Derriboots or has the same hairline as Steve Pastie Faced McDonald from Coronation Chicken Street.
"In my weak, non existent defence", he mumbled,"..,you try keeping still for a 20 second self timer release. I have never before, and will never be photographed again with two eyes open simultaneously."