Wednesday, 15 March 2017

(Not) Salad Days

Off up to the wild west today for a RV with Lord Lite and fine print maker John Richardson, aka half of the Two Terriers and latterly The  Star of the Small Screen. Briefly keen Lord Lite had decreed a possible earlier start to snatch a fish or two but when I got out of the charabanc I was greeted by this friendly welcome.. it was cold anyway so decided on a tootle round instead.

Ended up at Three Holes with the intention of a few shots of the Popham's Eau and Sixteen Foot Junction when I spied a familiar car dealer logo. Lord Lite was sunning himself and almost begging for a coffee. He did also hand over an armful of goodies as well. I think he needs an eye test as he missed the intended left turn. It seemed too small a road he said..

I shepherded the old fool to the mile long gravel drive leading up to the paladian ancestral seat of the Two Terriers dodging peacocks and bent old retainers, mole skin trousers held up with faded Norfolk bog door blue baler twine.  With much bowing and scraping Lord Lite handed over his dues of Essex roker wings, hastily tucking the flip flops, fishnet tights and rucksac out of sight.

The other two terriers were fairly quiet allowing a decent conversation about the idiots who hold and use weapons when perhaps they shouldn't and of course Jasper Farqhuart Brown-Mug, the stoopid brown troooot who recently shoved Keith the pike off his perch. Lord Lite also premiered his witty charcoal demolition of my character. Got the Percy Sugden hat spot on though..

We were granted a tour of the print room and The Star of the Small Screen's vintage press and of course some lovely preserves were produced by the Star's carer and secretary as if by magic, as well as some splendid (non) refined bread  as befitting the status of The Star of the Small Screen before heading off to the now not so secret spot.

The Star of the Small Screen cast a worried eye over the quiet surface of the Drain, usually riven asunder by fry feeding pike and perch and set about catching some fresh bait.

Lord Lite opted for static dead baits and I headed a little way down to see if there was any flow to trot down. It was minimal but I winkled out 3 small perch for the live bait bucket.

As I headed back for a rethink The Star of the Small Screen was putting back a small pike taken on a drifted live bait so I headed  a little way up with my "bucket" of bait to a likely spot.

A scatter of fry and my float was heading off briskly. On long enough to see it was a little better  at about 7-8 lb then off, the 1/0 Aberdeen having not found sufficient purchase... this was too much for Lords Lite and he was soon galumphing down my intended leapfrog run.

I would have ignored his constant texts to put the kettle on had I had the phone volume up but hunger from the early start trumped and in short order I had the camp galley up and running. The sausages were returned once as they were deemed a little pink inside  and Lord Lite nearly choked as he only had half a pint of milk in his tea and it was too strong.. . 

He did attempt a desultory half hour on the whip, agreeing he was amazed that a ham fisted gumby like me could ever catch anything.......

but as the sun continued to beat down he soon adopted his  more habitual pose

I ignored  a blunt hook for about an hour before retying a new Kamasan 520 #18 with an instant reward

We decided then that tea drinking was perhaps more  the order of the day and so it proved. Dental work the following day  meant it unlikely that The Star of the Small Screen would add to his total of 90 pike for the season from the spot. Lord Lite had designs on some Brighton plaice and I had a couple of pints of reds and some festering lamprey to use up.

A kingfisher bade us farewell and  as we neared the town stretch the roach started to dimple the surface in increasing numbers. Toodle pip.



  1. He didn't showcase the fishnet tights in the farmyard. Bastard Barry would have liked that. TT

  2. Bet he would. Though the Bastard was very subdued. Perhaps he is being fed Rita in.